Do you ever say something and kinda look around to see who said that? It happened to me yesterday when we were talking with the pastor at the church we are visiting. He asked a simple question about our day, whether it was restful or busy? I automatically responded with, “We don’t do busy”. It shocked me a bit because of the speed by which it flew out of my mouth, but it is very true. Being busy, rushing from activity to activity does not work for our family. It did not work with just two or three kids and it sure would not work with seven. This is how the Lord has led us and He may do something else with your family.
When I look at the calendar and see an entire square full, a bit of anxiety arises. Will I remember it all? Will everyone be where they are suppose to be at the right time? When will we eat dinner if the evening is full? They are gone for most of the day, when will we reconnect? If this is an occasional occurrence, we do fine, but not if this is the normal for us. Some handle this just fine, but that is not my lane. Go ahead and pass us right by.
This is a conviction for us and I felt it affirmed again today when I read Ann Voskamp’s blog. She had a guest writer and the title was, “How Hurry is Incompatible with Love” by John Mark Comer. When I rush, I miss things, especially people. Quick conversations are not my favorite, but at times necessary I know. It takes time to learn about others and to let them know they are loved. It is easy to see why he chose this title. However, it is not easy to hear.
I think of another conversation yesterday and if we had been in a hurry, we would have missed it. A precious family asked us to take their picture as we walked into a restaurant. We visited for awhile and got to know a little about one another. It was an incredible blessing to meet other brothers and sisters in Christ! Come to find out, they care about what is most important to us too! It was good. An unexpected gift. We will be exchanging Christmas cards.
As for today, our youngest had a fun field trip to a pumpkin patch. The downside is that it was an over an hour away. This morning when I looked at all the things that needed to be done here, it would have been very easy to stay home. However, to miss time with this little girl was not an option. And the laundry and dust were waiting for me when I got home. We froze because it was colder than expected, but we had a great time. Sweet memories were made and that is far more important than chores.
Time passes and it is our choice as to what we fill our days with. Will we pack it so full that we have no space to see people? Will we decide today that we will ask the Lord for help in how to manage the time He has given us? If time was God’s idea in the first place, it would only be logical to ask Him how to manage it. That carries over in just about everything don’t you think?
Getting to know someone takes time. Building a relationship does not normally happen overnight. I think of how much I know about each of our children. It is important to know how they function best, what makes them feel loved and what overwhelms them. This takes more than my natural abilities and I am in need of something more than me. This privilege is too much for me, but not for Him. I can pray, like Nehemiah, and ask for strength. Days are long and laundry piles are high. My hands need strength to serve my family. Knowing who to ask for strength makes all the difference.
There have been sweet birthday gifts from friends, precious time with family and specific prayers answered. How do you begin to write about the goodness of God? How do you type into words how much He loves us? He shows us everyday if we have a heart to see. I will confess that I have not always had this type of vision. Praise God, those days are gone! My heart is now open wide and it makes seeing, giving and receiving love that much richer. It is the kind of lasting love. This kind of love, expressed in so many ways, does not seek the next thing to be sustained. It is a constant and brings such peace. I love these words, “For our hearts rejoice in Him because we trust in His holy name.” (Psalm 33:21). What a gift it is to trust His love for me as I go about this life.
As I think on change, it always reminds me of the passage in Ecclesiastes about time. It goes from one extreme to the other. “A time of war and a time of peace.” (vs. 8). As I read through the list, I naturally choose the more lovely times. I have no desire for war, loss, hate, mourning and death. I will say that knowing these times makes the other that much more sweet and I appreciate them more. So for that I am thankful. It is during the not so lovely that I have been drawn into the heart of God more deeply. How can I say I do not want such a gift just because it was hard?
The sermon ended much too soon and we sang a bit more. Then the most interesting thing happened. They break everyone into smaller groups and call them “tribes”. We had no idea where to go, but were quickly directed to a group. I have to mention that the younger kids go to their class during the teaching time and then come back for the close of the service. It is fun worshiping together. Back to the tribes. We circle up and each person is asked to confess in one word a sin they struggle with. Mine is pride. Then the most beautiful thing followed. We took communion. Each sin confessed, the death of Christ, the blood that poured from His body, paid the price for each. “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree; so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed.” (1 Peter 2:24). This is GOOD NEWS!!!
Monday morning I woke up with such a heavy feeling inside and my shoulders felt like they had huge weights on them. I sat in my normal chair to begin my “quiet time”. If you are new to the whole Christian code, this means time spent in reading your Bible, praying, journaling, reading devotionals and whatever else you and the Lord do together. I immediately got a picture in my mind and it was powerful! It was me sitting at the bottom of a dried up dark well, with stones piled on top of me. The stones filled the well to the top. I had my knees pulled to my chest and my head down. The stones represented every sin I have ever committed over the course of my life. Satan was leaning over the well, shouting down in a loud voice, “Pay what you owe”! I kept saying, “I can’t, I can’t”! When I thought this would go on forever, Jesus steps into the picture. He leans down and in the process, backhands satan in the mouth, which sends him flying backwards and he is silenced. Jesus then begins to remove each stone, one at a time. With each stone He says, “Forgiven”. He then reaches His hand down and distance doesn’t seem to matter. I take hold of His offered hand and He pulls me up. We then take the stones, that have been washed clean, and stack them into a memorial with the cross on the top. Memorials are good to have because they give you a visual reminder. If I ever doubt whether I am truly forgiven, one look at the cross says I am.
When I ask my children to do something and they argue or disobey, it kinda shocks me. We have this loving relationship and usually they listen. The other day when I was asking our youngest to do something, disobedience followed. I took her aside and told her that when I asked her to do or not do something, it was because I had her good in mind. I was not trying to stop her from having fun or just being mean. I reminded her that I loved her and needed her to trust me. Then it hit me, again. We disobey and do not listen to God because we do not trust His love for us. If we did we would live like it.
One of the booklets she brought home had a title on it that caught my eye. It said, “Who Am I?” She had written her name above the title. While the book was not about her, it is a question she will have to answer. It also reminded me of the movie I just saw called, Overcomer. That was a question asked and one that some of the characters had a hard time answering. Who you are is not the same thing as what job you do, what your marital status is, economic status or what your class rank happens to be. Who you are has so much more to it. It was bought with a price by our Creator and it defines who I am.
After the photo shoot, we hurried home and I met a group of younger moms that come over once a month to talk and pray. If there is anything I try and communicate to them is the importance of being in God’s word. You can not give what you do not have. If you want to give your family Him, be in His word. So much pressure is taken off when it is Him and His wisdom you are living from. We laughed a lot as a group and prayed about hard things. I am so thankful for each of these girls. What a privilege to take what has been learned and share. Mistakes seem to be redeemed when you can warn others not to follow your example. It is also encouraging to see that despite my sin, God works wonders in our children.
I read a teaching from Jill Briscoe the other day where she talked about the grave clothes that Lazarus was wearing. These linen strips and face cloth needed to be taken off of this very much alive man. She said the most interesting thing at the end of her lesson. “Throw away your grave clothes; they are poor dress for a living person!” This got my attention and had me asking the Lord if there were any areas in my life that looked like I was still bound in grave clothes. Then the words “linen strips” stuck out to me from the verse. Linen strips were also used as bandages for wounds. Bandages are necessary for a time as a wound heals, but eventually need to be removed. How many of us have bandages on from 20 years ago?