Figuring It Out

It’s been a restful Sunday. We worshiped, ate at our favorite restaurant (Uncle Julio’s) and ran a few errands. Most of the kids are occupied with chores, basketball, playing outside and one is protesting in timeout. The oldest has her head bent over an embroidery project and it makes me smile. I’m also listening to a very detailed weather forecast, given by my dishwasher unloader. Just a glimpse into our home life today.

If you were to ask me if I ever dreamed this would be my everyday life, I would answer honestly with a “no”. Would I have thought I would leave North Carolina and move to Texas, marry a man that has a heart of a true servant and have 7 children, who are so different from one another that it makes my mind spin – again “no”. However, because the Lord had this all planned out before time began, here I am. Is it easy having a big family? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. What I would say has been the hardest is not knowing how to be a mom. I had ideas and a picture in my head of what it would look like, but how to actually carry this out, now that is a different story. At first, I parented from a place where behavior and appearance were high priorities. That was a disaster and I am so thankful. I can’t find anywhere in scripture where this is modeled, expect by the Pharisees. I have absolutely no desire for them to be my role models! So, the search contined and the Lord placed incredible women in my life to show me how to “Train up a child in the way he should go….” Proverbs 22:6.

With amazing examples, praying a lot, reading my Bible and being invested in different Bible study groups over the years, the Lord is leading me in this parenting adventure. Plenty of times I mess up and have to ask my kids for forgiveness. Sometimes fear comes flying in and I want to gather them all up and never leave our house. Other times, I want to pull them all out of public school and run to a Christian school. Each time, the Lord is kind and patient and I keep trusting Him to guide our family. He loves each one of us so much and I am trusting in that love.

If you are anything like me and need some encouragement, I would love to offer you what I have found helpful. Get a good Bible thats translation is easy for you to understand. Sometimes study Bibles have great notes to explain verses or give background to the time period it was written in. My current favorite is the She Reads Truth, CSB Bible. It has great devotions woven throughout too. Grab a journal to write down scripture you want to remember, prayers and anything else that you find helpful. Find a quiet place and time where you can read and pray. For me and I do not say this in a boastful way, just what I have found works for me, I get up early. I pour a cup of coffee and slip into my favorite chair. My time goes quickly and it seems like I always want more. I just don’t see how I can serve my family and pour out into them until I have been poured into. My heart is changed during my morning times. One writer wrote something along the lines of putting Christ on the throne of your heart and removing yourself. When He is in His place, I am in mine. It changes everything.

It’s time to start dinner, but I have more to say on this….

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