Only God

The most interesting thing happened in my heart last week. While we were enjoying vacation, a thought started to grow in my head. It came out of nowhere and would not go away. The idea keep coming to mind, so I prayed and asked God what to do. I waited and then acted. It would seem small and insignificant to anyone looking in, but to me it was pretty big. I sent a text to inquire about this idea and heard back within hours. It was a done deal – just like that.

IMG_3617Every year our church puts on what the baptist in me still calls “Vacation Bible School”. I love those memories of my childhood. My grandmother would volunteer to help serve snacks and it was fun to see her there. Something about those cheap cookies and lemonade served during the week felt like such a treat. We were encouraged to bring friends and our church now does the same. A week full of games, funny skits and the gospel shared more simple, can break down walls that sometimes come up when you invite someone to come on a Sunday morning. This week is packed with kids and volunteers. We all have one purpose and that is to live out the love of Jesus in us.

The process to volunteer is easy and my older kids join in too. I have served on the art team and made tons of crafts with kids. I have traveled from group to group, sharing the easy, but eternity changing message of Jesus’ death on the cross. For a few years I have worked in the nursery with the littlest of babies. Each place is a chance to love and a privilege to be trusted with someone else’s child. I do not take that lightly. However, since  the death of the babies because of miscarriages, I have not been able to bring myself to volunteer in the nursery. It is just too painful and such a reminder of loss. But a still small voice, a stirring in my heart and mind caused me to wonder if it was time to go back to the nursery.

So, I sent a text and was moved from one team to the nursery. Yesterday I was a bit nervous as to how my heart would respond. My head knows I am too old to have another baby and adopting seems impossible, but the desire to have more would not leave. To hold what you will not have again as your own, would be hard. Please hear me when I say I am VERY thankful for the amazing children we have. I know how incredible kids are and love our kids beyond measure. More kids would have meant more precious vessels to pour love into, but the Lord has said no to that desire. I trust Him.

I walked into my class yesterday and soon had a baby in my arms. Can I tell you there was no heartache at all. Nothing, just thankful to have a place to serve. By the end of the day I was so blessed and knew the desire of my heart had changed. Only God can see and know you so well to heal that which was broken. He is a great God! Healing has happened over time and was sealed these past days. Look at these words, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3). His Word is true and He does exactly what He says He will do. I now have even more wonderful memories to add to my collection of “Vacation Bible school”.

I will continue to play and rock babies this week. The time is that much sweeter because of what the Lord has done in my heart. It is a witness to His faithfulness and a reminder to me to listen to those ideas He places inside and trust Him with the outcome. Some ideas never materialize, but the process of finding out is part of His plan. He is a loving, true, faithful, kind, giving and caring God. I hope you know Him too.


*The picture is from Kids Camp today. The verse for the week is, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13). I know this to be true!



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