Trustworthy

Early in the morning, ten years ago, I got a call from my dad. He told me my mom did not have much longer. Before I even left for the airport, she had died. In the days, weeks, months and years that have followed, a question had to be answered daily. Is God trustworthy even though He allowed my mom to die?

My honest answer would be that He is completely trustworthy, but I am not. Loss makes one feel badly shaken, but I found God to be full of steady grace and mercy. He has not wasted one tear that I have cried. In fact, it seems maybe He collected them to water all the seeds that He was planting and cultivating in this now tender heart. Hopefully, more compassion, kindness, peace, love and joy have flourished over time. And I never find Him to be in a rush as I am growing, a good Father never is. Maybe now that ten years have gone by, I love a bit more like Him. The very One who my mom now sees face to face.

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